There was a nice conversation goin on in our class for the GD.The topic is "Love Marriage or Arranged marriage".A girl stood up and told that love marriage life is successful than that of arranged marriage.The reason she gave for this is that in love marriage we get to know each other whereas in the latter case it is not so.This is where i am confused ..do people really get to know each other before telling their love.I can boldly say NO.
Lovers here actually speak with each other openly only after expressing their love.since the proposal is over ,even if u find fault with ur lover there is no goin back; atleast it is hard to do so.Then here comes the term infact a beautiful term called "ADJUSTMENT".many opt for this than breakin their love because they dont want others to know that they took a wrong decision.I dont know whether this is wat the girl in our class told as 'getting to know each other'.if that is so, i think that this can be done even in arranged marriage.atleast ur partner would not have kissed any other person before marriage.
A kind suggestion to all of u friends .if u r goin for arranged marriage dont choose a beautiful girl because she would have fallen in love already and she is here to marry you because her love failed or her boyfriend cheated her.
thank u for reading .life is not full without fights and quarrels .so u can fight here ;quarrel here but the weapon should be nothing other than comments.bye bye ..
20 comments:
Interesting! Very interesting!! Coming to the last line of your post. People can have conflict of opinions but must be open to all views. Fighting over his/her viewpoint is childish. Each one is entitled to his/her own views. Put forth your views, in case u get an opposing view anlayse it and put forth ur case. We need to listen and acknowledge everyones views. The bottom line is - U can have contrasting opinions but be diplomatic and don fight over it as though the whole world is at stake. Lets not set a bad precedence.
Now lets come to your topic? I don knw which gal of our class u r talkin about but i can guess wat she means by gettin to know each other well. This may be one possibility. U don actually propose a gal immediately after seein her. Love at first sight is filmy and i have my apprehensions about it.
So u get to move with the person well, mebbe as a friend and then the transistion may come if both parties are interested. Durin this period of courtship, you will be comin to knw what kind of adjustments are to be made and how well the wavelengths match, then u proceed with the relationship.
As far as the arranged marriage goes U kinda fall into the relationship immediately and hence a difficulty may arise to make adjustments quickly. Lets consider battin on australian pitches as an analogy--- Sachin understands the conditions well and can adjust whereas yuvraj is new and will take time to adjust. This is the case or difference which the gal u talk about would have mentioned as get to know more. You can never say which one is better love or arranged each has its own adv and disadv.
Hmm your views on beautiful gals. Its too harsh. Appadi paatha yarayume namba mudiyathu let alone beautiful gals. U talk about the purity of gals, but can guys do whatever they want?? If we can go roam with ten gals during our teens, so can the gals with their bfs. We shouldnt expect our wives to be sati savithri when we act like manmadhan. Namba ramana eruda sitai expect pannalam. Btw I am not a feminist or pro - female. Its just that biased view which we guys have which i am not for.
And please dont bring culture into this picture. I respect our culture and like it but there are a few things which i say are biased.
Btw who was that gal who talked in the GD??
Krishna
www.devilzadvocate.wordpress.com
u cant propose a girl just like tat my dear. the relationship starts wit friendship and then only transformation occurs so both can understand themself very well as an frnd too..
by
bharath
thank u krishna and bharat.
@krishna :small fights bring people closer.tats y i told like tat.in debates people fight over other's view points.i dont think it is childish!i wonder you do.love at first sight may be filmy but films are wat influences people here.i accept tat boys are also bad but i wanted to mention about the girls who trust them and wen cheated, go for a good one.he may be bad too but wat if he is raman.i cant mention tat girl's name but this took place during SMART placement training classes.hope u got it.i din speak about culture .it was assassinated by the great IT industry!!last but not least i am not RAMAN!!hehe.
@bharath:there is no problem if friendship grows to love.
@danas
Fight is different from arguments dude. Hope u get the difference and i am not goin to fight over this.
Hmmm if you are foolish enough to be influenced by films, then GOD save you. Rajini aalayo ellai Ramarajan aalayo 10 enna 100 per vandalum adika mudiyum without a scratch. But can a comman man do. If u can be influenced by films u must be in all aspects. Lets not blame films for our convinience. Hmm girls emathutu go for another mar. Virginity is not for gals alone. Hmm well as long as she tell her new hub to be about it and he finds it ok.. Whats your problem? Lets give them a chance to move on and dont punish them throughout their life for follies. To err is defn human. But at the same time I am not in support of BITCHES, please kindly note that. IT industry didnt spoil. Its we who got spoiled. Dont blame the industry. Mixing of culture is fine. But undermining our culture for another is foolishness, done by many in the name of style. Enna panna, ithungalaam thirunthatha janmams. Kadavul nenaichalum intha saniyangala kapatha mudiyathu. Lets not blame the industry. The IT indsutry has in a great way and in a great way help the nation's growth and in being a super Power(I am not so optimistic abt the super power thingie).
All said and done--- Here are a few bottomlines.
1. Arguments are always welcome. FIghts aren't
2. Love is not a sin.
3. Love marr and arranged mar - u cant say which is better. Its upto individuals to choose any or both paths(Both would be preferable by me).
4. Dont always blame gals, we guys share equal responsibility too.
5. I have never nor will support BITCHES.
6. If there is a folly and someone wants to move on lets help them doing so.
7. Dont get too influenced by films. People must be matured enough to know whats good and whats bad for them. Else GOD save those poor, ignorant souls.
8. IT industry never spoiled the country. Its we the people who spoil it.
9. Remember you are in the IT industry too. Its really bad to talk ill about the industry you work in. Work is worship.
10. Good post. U can work a bit on your english, but a nice start.
P.S: Get more people to read your blogs dude. That way you get more views and opinions.
Krishna
www.devilzadvocate.wordpress.com
Hey about the transition from friendship to love. I have a big post written on it. Read it if you are interested and comments are always welcome.
Krishna
www.devilzadvocate.wordpress.com
thank u krishna.dont mistake me as a person who hates love and girls.surely i ll get more people read this. one of reasons i started this is to improve my vocabulary.
i dont agree with ur views on beautiful gals ....they can be faithful if they want to.....both love and arranged marriage can be successful it only depens on the couple...and i dont agree tat friends can be lovers.....i dont think its ethical
dana first of all i congratulate u 4 selecting tis topic...... theres always something in tis topic which makes all generations interesting... in tis blog u could've analysed which type of gales do men like(traditional or modern)... it would have added more fizz... im eager 2 know which gale in our class said so??? r u ready wit d answer man///
Dhana!
I hope,you'd remember me.Btw, nice to see ya blogging.Welcome to blogger's paradise.I'll add you to my blogroll.If you wish, you can go thro'my blogs too.. :P
My tech blog: http://ganesh-sriram.blogspot.com/
My personal blog:
http://ganeshsriram.wordpress.com/
"A kind suggestion to all of u friends .if u r goin for arranged marriage dont choose a beautiful girl because she would have fallen in love already and she is here to marry you because her love failed or her boyfriend cheated her."
OM MY GOD What a horrible thought .Really terrible .hanal I always knew you were pessimistic about lots of things but not this one .I am really shocked reading this .I dont have anything to say other than asking you to be a little optimistic .
And about love and marriages you cant give a general opinion.Its peoples individual preferences and choices and its a ever green topic throughout the world .So its all about what you think and feel for the girl that you love or like .
And I think there is more of adjustment in arranged marriages than in love marriages .Lots of women hold on to the harrament just to maintain their family pride .In love marriages you atleast have the freedom of divorcing the man .
@danas
U hate love and gals. Y do u cheat yourself saying that? U dont like your mom, sis nor do u love them? Dude. Terrible is an understatement to describe this attitude of yours. One thing i Know for sure----- I am so damn sorry for your wife to be-- Poor girl. One of ur friends said about harresment, I sincerely wish that time teaches u a lesson or two. And make sure if u are goin to marry delete this blog post. Ur gf or wife to be will never be pleased with such statements from you.
@Ashwin
Taboo, Sin, ethics---- Dude your wife/lover/hubby must be your best friend. So there's nothing wrong in ur best friend being wife/hubby or lover. I don't knw why people shut themselves off when this issue comes up. We certainly need some thinkin to do on this aspect. According to me transistion from frndship to love is neither a sin nor crime, IF agreed mutually by both the parties.
P.S: Well each of us will stick to our own views, I know that for sure. But we'll learn our lessons.
Adios
Krishna
www.devilzadvocate.wordpress.com
@aswin:i think u should consider wat krishna said.love doesnt spoil friendship.infact husband-wife should be good friends.conversely good friends make good couples only if both of them full heartedly agree.
@sanju:we ll analyse tat also in future posts.i have confusion between 3 girls, so i cant tell the name.
@ganesh:thank u da.
@arunvijay:i wrote tis wen i was in a bad mood.everyone gets tis but the problem is tat i wrote it.i hope u understand.but i wrote it willingly.
@krishna:dei i told i dont hate love and girls da.u misunderstood tat.dont look at me as a villain or
psycho.
thank u for ur comments.
@danas
Sorry Dude! Sorry for tht misunderstanding!
Krishna
www.devilzadvocate.wordpress.com
Firstly sorry for taking such a long time to pen down my comment on your blog post. I was so engrossed in zapak that I didn't even find time to comment on the comments in my blog. You have chosen a delicate topic on which individuals have their own say and stand by it. In your blog, you have stated "do people really get to know each other before telling their love". I would give a partial yes and a partial no as an answer! A partial yes because there are lovers who later became couples and led a happy life together. I really don't know whether ADJUSTMENT had to do anything about it. :) A partial no because there have been many cases of love marriage ending in a divorce. I think it is not right to have such a biased and harsh opinion on beautiful girls. Well if your marriage happens to be an arranged marriage and if your wife happens to be beautiful, ask her to read this blog post. Mavane anniki irruku da unnakku climax!
thank u ganesh, u gave a very safe answer.i had enough for wat i said about beautiful girls.thank god no girl saw tis blog.if i marry a beautiful girl in arranged marriage i ll delete my blog.
sorry to say.Already two gals have read ur blog.Sure this msg will be passed on to ur wife/gf.
@anonymous:thank u for not scoldin me seeing tis post.
beautiful gals.. hmm... doesn mean tat they should ve already been in an affair... nowadays , wen a gal talks to a boy in a friendly manner, ppl tend to link em and do all kinda crap.Its not necessary tat all beautiful gals shud ve had an affair... i completely oppose!~~
@kadhal mannan:tell ur name please.
doesn't agree with you at all...
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